THE 'BUILDING' WALES NEEDS MOST ?

A PROPOSED MONUMENT TO THE COUNTER CULTURAL OLYMPIAD

The artist, Amish Kippur, consults with the engineers from Oyveh Arup

The renowned artist, Amish Kippur, has been questioned by the adjudicators as to whether his initial proposals can be considered a 'building'. His suggestion that flights of steps be incorporated and the public charged to climb them have not alleviated the judges concerns. 

Some have argued that the massive structure, planned to stand beside what many consider the 'paying entrance' to Wales has some merit. " We have long wanted an iconic statement in that location," said Calvin Kleinpants, design guru and second cousin of the artist. " Wales needs something more than a flashing matrix sign which says ' give us a fiver or fuck off' at the Severn Bridge".

Many, however, consider it a derivative theme and a rather tired repetition of the artists own work at other paying attractions. Others have been even more harsh. The widely respected, if notoriously partisan, elder statesman of Welsh architecture, Sir Cough Mixture- Ellis response to Kleinpants was that he agreed in principle with a symbolic structure, one that spoke of a modern Wales but that this was just another cliched piece of over-sized tat, another opportunist object passed off as public art. Kippur's best known patron, Sir Charles Scratchy, responded angrily to that through his lawyers. In a belligerent statement strongly reminiscent of their High Court action in defence of Sir Charles other protege, Tracy Vermin, they threatened to sue anyone making defamatory remarks likely to devalue their clients speculative investment in Great British Artists.

However, little solidarity was displayed by the best known of the GBA's when his opinion was sought on Kippur's proposed monument. " Of course Kippur's work is symbolic and representative of a modern Wales" said the transexual stunt artist, Dame Ian Worst,  from his/her Cayman Islands studio,  "It's a tangled pile of bugger all with nothing new to say."

The Arts Council have, as yet, declined to enter the fray , their press officer merely repeating their official position that "it's art if we say it is and its public art if we are paying for it". A spokesman for the Imaginary Lottery Fund raised an eyebrow at that but also refused to make any formal comment. 

Contemporary artists in Wales have, predictably, disagreed with all of the above and if Kippur's proposal makes the shortlist for final adjudication at The Welsh School of Architecture on 20 June it should be a stormy evening in Cardiff.

THE BUILDING WALES MOST NEEDS - The Charity

The Love Architecture Festival 2013 event on 20 June at the Birtacres Theatre, Bute Building, Cardiff University will be open to all on a first come first served basis. We will be asking the audience for donations to the Mutende Project details of which are;

THE BUILDING WALES MOST NEEDS - The Traditionalists Respond

The firm of Highgrove, Young & Fogey  have thrown their trilby into the ring with this proposal for a Welsh National School of Art to be built on the shores of Swansea Bay as part of the new Swansea University campus. Designed in the strictly anticarbunculist manner preferred by their best known patron, the Duchy of Carmarthen, HYG have produced a rigid collegiate form which will encourage the proper teaching of traditional methods of drawing and painting. The painting studios are, with the main hall and galleries, elegantly proportioned and a tour de farce of classical motifs. No cornice has gone unswagged, no lily ungilded in this painstaking recreation of Swansea's Golden Age.  The high quality of finish indicated for the upper floors is in contrast to that of the servants quarters which appear to be below average tidal level. There is, for example, a marked difference in the standard of appointment in the Disrobing Room provided for life models adjacent to the Drawing Studios and that of the Second Under Butlers Pantry below. 
Similarly, the suite of rooms provided for the Master of College commands a sweeping panoramic view of Mumbles Head and the North Devon Coast beyond, while the student Refectory Hall enjoys an uninterrupted aspect of Port Talbot. 

Sustainability is equated with durability in this proposal, the structure being built to last through many generations. Maximum use is made of natural light, the massive chandeliers being principally for decorative effect and the minimal provision of heating will, the architects suggest, attune the occupants to the natural rhythms of the seasons and the climate of Swansea Bay. The only noticeable departure from this regime is in the extensive wine cellars which have state of the art air conditioning in the separate compartments allocated for differing chateaux, regions and vintages. The total absence of any car parking spaces is in marked contrast to the wide turning circle for a carriage and four and extensive stabling (not shown).

Things are as they should be and people know their place in the world of HY&G.

UPDATE : THE BUILDING WALES MOST NEEDS

The Mother of All Call Centres Proposed for Former Post Office in Cardiff Bay

As entries continue to pour in for the STRICTLY NEXT BEST DRAGONS LAIR TALENT FACTOR CELEBRITY APPRENTICE BUILD OFF ON ICE contest scheduled for 20 June at the Welsh School of Architecture, heavyweight contenders have started to outline their proposals. The Norman Fester Partnership have given a nostalgic local twist to this variation on their famous Peking and Taiwan Bank building with a strictly commercial take on The Building Wales Most Needs. Taking their cue from Cardiff City Councils recent Green Paper, Rebuilding Momentum, the Fester Partnerships theme is jobs, jobs, jobs. This vast call centre proposed for the long derelict post office building that once served Cardiff Docks will be built adjacent to the Bay railway station giving direct rail access to the vast hordes of unemployed in the Valleys. "Sustainability is the priority of our practice" said Fester, speaking on a cell phone from his private jet. 

If selected by the judges, the building, when completed, will be the tallest in Wales and its shadow will fall on Bristol at sunset. The proposed Subway food outlet on its ground floor will be the largest outside London and the building will have more urinals than Wembley Stadium.

If shortlisted Norman Fester is unlikely to appear to present with other contestants at the Birtacres Theatre on 20 June. The organisers insurers have indicated that they would be unable to underwrite any damage to his ego if his practice were unsuccessful.

THE BUILDING WALES MOST NEEDS

Following the relative success of last years contribution to the Love Architecture Festival, the reading of Under Plywood by Thomas Dylan, The Welsh Architects Theatre Studio are this year proposing a new form of talent contest. This follows the method, now  preferred by Government, of inviting competitive proposals for selection by a group of people, notable principally for their celebrity, not knowledge or wisdom, to select projects for scarce funding.

STRICTLY CELEBRITY NEXT BEST DRAGONS LAIR DESIGN TALENT FACTOR CELEBRITY BUILD- OFF CONTEST ON ICE

The contest will bring to the already problematic area of architectural competition the moral dimension of the present Government, popular press and the televised talent contest. Five short listed contestants will present to an all- star panel competing for funding from the ILF (Imaginary Lottery Fund) for The Building Wales Most Needs. The contestants will present their proposals using slides or appropriate media and be questioned as to viability, feasibility, sustainability and rationality by the panel and audience. 

Each contestant will then be subjected to ordeal by local cuisine;

The Taff Tucker Trial

1.       Clarkes pie + Bacardi Breezer

2.       Pot Noodle + Malibu

3.       Guinness and Tia Maria

4.       Onion bhajee + Pint of Brains SA

5.       Cockles + Strongbow

The event will be hosted by the Welsh School of Architecture at the Birtacres Theatre on Thursday 20 June 2013 (TBC).

The Small Print

The competition is open to all professions active in Wales and its colonies.

Additional points will be awarded for most imaginative use of S106 Agreements.

The final decision of the judges will be arbitrary.

The winners will be given full coverage in the Welsh edition of Hello! magazine, Hiya!/S’mae? And be mentioned in passing on Radio Wales.

PROVISIONAL LIST OF ENTRANTS                                             PROPOSAL

Frank Lloyd George and Partners	A Museum of Welsh Aspirations
Zahara Wadid ap Rhys	Temporary Toilets for National Eisteddfod
T.B.C	Offshore Tax-Free Green Sustainable Casino, Brothel and Bird Sanctuary on Flat Holm Island

FROM BAUHAUS TO BUNNY CLUB

 

If you wanted a hotel on the Monopoly board then Park Lane is where you would put it. Someone has finally put another at 45 Park Lane London W1, but only after a long and varied history of development in this location.  Perhaps the most bizarre episode was the grey concrete building ‘designed’ by Walter Gropius which became, for  years, the home of the Playboy Club in the UK. The origins of this are related in The Property Boom by Oliver Marriott. (1)

Jack Cotton, the flamboyant post-war property developer, first enlisted the assistance of Gropius, founder of the Bauhaus and one of the pioneers of modern architecture, to assist following his catastrophic proposals to redevelop the Monico site at Piccadilly Circus. Where many other post-war developers, such as Harry Hyams and Rudolph Palumbo, sought to avoid wider attention to their activities, Cotton, a relentless self –publicist, had by 1959 increasingly come to believe in that publicity. In October he held a press conference to announce to the world his development of the Pan Am Building above Grand Central Station in New York. Flush with that triumph he held his second press conference in seven days to unveil his proposals for Piccadilly Circus. The planning committee of London County Council had already agreed to grant consent - but for one small technicality which remained outstanding. The reaction to the plans and model he displayed at the press conference was one of horror and the Minister of Housing stepped in to call an enquiry. That would have been impossible had Cotton waited until the technicality had been agreed with the planning authority before making his announcement. Marriott conveys the subsequent disfavour of the development proposals by quoting the planning inspector appointed, Colin Buchanan, later famous for the Buchanan Report.

“The applicants must now greatly regret that they put out the perspective sketch which they did at Mr Cotton’s press conference in October 1959. This was a drawing showing the building with a crane on top, and a large advertisement ‘Snap Plom For Vigour’ on the main front panel. Had this not been issued it is a fair guess that the building would now be in course of erection……It does not surprise me that strong feelings have been aroused, for the building could scarcely have been presented in a cruder light.

Following that rejection Cotton persisted with his attempts to redevelop the Monico site for many years and eventually enlisted the world famous Gropius to advance that aim. Until then, Cottons buildings had been designed by his own firm of architects, Cotton, Ballard and Blow, of which he was the principal.  This developer/ architect arrangement appears rather strange fifty years later and Marriott notes that it was rare even then. He comments that the resulting buildings were no better or worse than the post-war average for speculative office buildings but Cotton never sponsored any development of much aesthetic distinction. The Pan Am building may be the exception - although that was fiercely criticised in New York. In the event, producing one of the 20^th centuries most famous architects as his adviser did not resolve Cotton’s problems at the Monico site. He did however set Gropius to work on another property that he had acquired at 45 Park Lane.

 Marriott states that this was a Victorian mansion built in 1868 which had been the home of the banker, Sir Phillip Sassoon and, before that the site had been occupied by the diamond magnate, Barney Barnato. Unfortunately this would appear to be incorrect as it would make for an even more ripping yarn. Other sources identify the Sassoon mansion as being at 25 Park Lane.

 Barnato, a semi-literate cockney born in Petticoat Lane was the son of a professional bar-room bouncer and tapster. After a brief career as a prize fighter and music hall turn he followed his brother to South Africa.  There he made a vast fortune in the Kimberley diamond mines and hired Spencer House on his return to London. In 1896 he attended court to stand bail for a friend and gave his address to the magistrate. “But that’s Lord Spencer’s House. Are you his major domo?” demanded the magistrate. “I’m my own bloody domo” shouted back Barnato, the very incarnation of the proverbial ‘rough diamond.’ (2)

Unfortunately he did not live to see the great mansion he was building at Park Lane. He suffered a breakdown, probably delirium tremens, and fell of the ship, an assumed suicide, on his way back from a visit to South Africa. His considerable fortune was divided between his family including his sister Sarah and her husband Abraham Rantzen, great-grandparents of TV presenter Esther Rantzen.

However, to return to the Jack Cotton saga, the architects at Cotton, Ballard and Blow had already completed the preliminary plans when he met Gropius and brought him in to design the elevation of the proposed building. As a result the planning application proceeded smoothly, although virtually the only aesthetic difference was that the building was faced with concrete blocks not Portland Stone as originally intended. This might, given the modus operandii of the post-war developers, have been expected to bring about a cost saving and consequent increase in the potential profit. In this case Marriott notes that the main effect of employing Gropius – apart, perhaps, from the mesmeric impact of his name on the planning authority- was to increase the total cost of the project from £650,000 to £800,000. The completed building was no more or less distinguished than any other speculative office building of the period but, by stroke of fortune, it was the only vacant building between the Dorchester and Hilton Hotels on Park Lane. The Playboy Club deemed this the only suitable location for its first foray into Great Britain in 1966 and Cotton was able to let it to them for a higher rental than the prevailing rate for offices at that time.

Walter Gropius was described by Paul Klee as ‘The Silver Prince’, and by Tom Wolfe as “the most dazzling figure of European architecture during the inter-war years of the 20^th century …….irresistibly handsome to women to women, correct and urbane in a classic German manner…….. a figure of calm certitude and conviction at the centre of the maelstrom” It is not known whether he visited his Park Lane creation once occupied by the Playboy Club and dubbed "the Hutch on the Park".  From the foregoing description he might well have held his own with the venue's other clientele which included actors Sean Connery, Michael Caine and Joan Collins, and footballer George Best. As to the Bunny Girls and their outfits it is again regrettable that it was his Bauhaus colleague, Mies van der Rohe who coined the phrase ‘less is more’.(3)

The Playboy Club closed in 1982, following a police raid over suspected illegal gambling, despite no subsequent evidence of wrongdoing. It lay vacant for 13 years until in 2008 Westminster City Council gave consent for conversion into a luxury hotel. In its press release the Council stated that “the outside of the grey concrete-clad building will be redesigned to be made more harmonious with the mixture of neo-Georgian blocks and eighteenth century buildings which line Park Lane and surrounding streets.”  (4) In keeping with the slightly surreal history of the building the press release went on to say that the designs had been drawn up by starchitect Thierry W Despont, who has created homes for the likes of Bill Gates and Calvin Klein and collaborated on the Getty Center galleries in Los Angeles. His resulting confection is a homage to art deco, the ‘drab concrete’ exterior being re-clad with metal fins. Neo-Georgian in this instance may be a tongue in cheek reference to the corresponding reigns of Georges V or VI?

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

1.     The Property Boom                        Oliver Marriott

2.       The London Rich                             Peter Thorrold

3.       Bauhaus to Our House                   Tom Wolfe

4.       http://www.westminster.gov.uk/press-releases/2008-09/star-architect-to-turn-former-playboy-club-into-ma/

IT'S DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN............

The Welsh Government have this week advertised seeking expressions of interest from those who might undertake research on Retail Planning & Town Centre Viability. The stated aim is to study the threats and opportunities facing town centres in Wales, the effectiveness of retail planning policy and advice in protecting them, and where changes or improvements are required to make appropriate recommendations. The stated objectives are:

•To undertake a quantitative analysis of the retail dynamics in Wales.

•To undertake a qualitative analysis of the impact of retail development on town centres in Wales.

•Consider the appropriateness of the current national planning policy in achieving the Welsh Government's aspirations for town centres and make recommendations for improvements to the planning system.

It would appear that the only outcome will be to advise the regional government as to how the stable door might have been locked long after the sellers of horsemeat have bolted.

In seeking to improve planning guidance on retail there might be several ways of avoiding what will probably be considerable expense in commissioning yet another roaming gang of 'regeneration experts' to squirt out yet more verbal diarrhea. They could, for example, refer to the advice in TAN 99 - How To Fuck Up A City. Whilst directed at the larger settlements these provisions are relevant to the health and well being of the Valley Towns.

As regards In- Town Retail, for example, TAN 99 notes that the collective pursuit of abundance is central to the urban experience and retail activity essential to ensure vibrant town and cities. Extensive research has established that people are most comfortable with familiar surroundings and, to this end planning policy has been formulated to ensure that the retail centres of our towns and cities look as much like each other as possible. It recognises that, in many cases little can be done about the architecture and urban space but illuminated signage of familiar brands can achieve a satisfactory level of homogenisation. The traditional shopping street presents challenges, not least those of the Welsh climate and enclosed shopping malls are to be encouraged. This may be achieved through an Exciting Town Centre Regeneration Scheme which can be carried out in partnership with a private sector developer. The Welsh Government no longer has the resources to assist such projects but local planning authorities are encouraged to enter into such arrangements with the private sector as they see fit. The public realm is there to be exploited in these straightened times and local authorties are to be encouraged to bundle it up and flog it off.

The Welsh Government has of course acted on the recommendations of TAN 99 to preserve the vibrancy of our traditional town and city centres. There are already strict controls on out of town shopping development. Planning consent for open retail may only be granted to two more of each of the major foodstore operators on each of the main distributor roads at the edge of Welsh towns or cities. The only exceptions to this is development associated with stadium development (See Sport), regeneration, community enhancement or at the Ministers discretion. Certain other exemptions may apply where such development is deemed to be in the public interest, contributions to party political funds being included in such definition. And of course planning 'gain' - such as a new roundabout or traffic lights.

Town centre shopping is of course largely a leisure undertaking now but a sub heading of 'retail leisure might deal adequately with the purchase of other forms of self- gratification. Much exemplary work has been carried out in this area, particularly in historic commercial centres where banks and places of business have been converted to Boozeramas. Where such areas are duly designated a Café Quarter planning consent and necessary licensing for such establishments should be considered automatic.  When buildings of some architectural merit are not available former shops can be converted into drinking establishments. These may be unsuitable for a ‘Café’ or Boozerama but provide adequate space for an Autolout. The distinction is to be considered one of licensing and operation rather than planning policy. Bouncers are mandatory at all times for Autolouts and after 6pm for Boozeramas, after 8pm for Café Bars and discretionary for Cafes. Similar licensing provisions apply to clubs for which consent may also be treated as automatic within areas designated a Café Quarter. (NOTE: The term ‘Working Mens Club’ is now proscribed over large parts of Wales under the Property Misdescriptions Act.)

As noted in TAN 99 there is little need for supplementary guidance on traditional public houses as these are fortunately falling into extinction.The guidance also notes that the pedestrianisation of café quarters is not essential as civilian traffic into such areas can be managed as necessary by using the necessary police vans and ambulances as temporary roadblocks.

I have quoted from TAN 99 but, since the publication of such guidance, the National Government has also addressed the issue of town centres. Their approach has perhaps been more innovative in introducing to town planning the proven success of the televised game show. The Welsh Government might adopt a similar approach and have towns compete for funds in an endless televised contest with the obligatory breathless commentary. All regional news and current affairs programmes in Wales are clearly well rehearsed in the appropriate style. Opportunities for spin off series and merchandising could keep the fun factory at Porth Teigr fully occupied and benefit the 'Creative Industries' we have heard so much about. Badly failing towns could, for example, compete in another series with a catchy title such as 'It's A Shithole' the prize being additional policing and other emergency services.

We wait, with breath only slightly bated, for effective action.